This innocence is Brilliant.

Tonight I lay in bed and wonder about my mistakes. I am nothing now and it's been so long since I've heard the sound of my only hope. Now I know what it would be without you. This heart beats for only you. My heart is yours please don't go away. I need you now. I found a place so safe not a single tear , it's innocence is brilliant. And I will hold on to it , I love you.

.

I'm so upset.
Junior year is a killer and I don't think I can make it.
I think it's too much for me , I mean I study for hours until I believe I understand it , and in the end I fail anyway , so why even try ? eh , I have no idea what to do right now , . Maybe I'm still stressing myself out too much, so I quit my job...to see if maybe that was the problem , we'll see if that's it. :(.

TRWC.

This weeks The Real World : Cancun , was crazy ! Jasmine is really going out with pat's cousin . I think she wants to make pat jealous . And Jonne broke up with her boyfriend to go out with pat -_-. What an asshole move. And Bronnes dumbasss thought it would be cool to throw the fire extinguisher out the balcony of the hotel , so now he doesn't live there anymore haha. I miss joey though , the house was better with him. Next week Ayiiia and jonne + pat get together ? woah. Lol .
This was something.

La gente non sa.

Penso che la gente in questi giorni non hanno niente altro di meglio da fare. Davvero? Essi commento sulle cose che non hanno nulla a che fare con loro, ma quando si tratta di loro .. Essi veramente non rispettano nulla. Sto seriamente considerando di morire wow, haha non so cosa fare. Vorrei solo le persone possono prestare attenzione ai loro problemi e mi permetta di risolvere il mio, ora perché non voi?

Disorganized.

I'm disorganized. I cannot seem to put my thoughts together in order , instead they unhurriedly become organized...too late. Aren't I too young to be in love ? or love ? I begin to believe my mother and all she had said about not falling in love so young.. Why believe anything anyone says anymore , are all promises meant to be broken ? Then why promise at all , or make one promise ? I think we're all meant to be alone because what we call "Love" is A word simply disguised as something ensorcelled, so we can all break. We all come to that point in our lives where we fall in love and we don't think about the consequences that would come out of this... but why me so young ? But it's my fault for letting it get like this..Letting love do this to one person then hurting another all because you don't think you should be there with them, through it all. Then it hit's you and you realize you should have been there through whatever else disaster they've been through. But then it's too late. Like I said we're all meant to be alone , so why even try to be with someone ? Why do we try to escape being hurt , but think it's ohkay to hurt someone else ? I'm so disorganized. I wish I can leave it all and start something new..AGAIN. I always do , pero they say it's not ohkay to runaaway from your problems .. But it's what I do.. Sometimes I place the blade on my wrist thinking it'd take the pain away. It comes back though.. The pain comes back anyway and now I find myself crying on the phone with him . What's wrong with me ? Why am I feeling like this.? I feel like dying ... I just think I need a new life somewhere else .. Cause I think that if I can learn from my mistakes here and use what I learned somewhere else I can get along in life. If he only knew.

POOOOL !

Pool day with Pamela , Mechelle , & I. First we went to this one pool and we wasted 1 hour siting outside waiting for someone 17 or older to come in with us cause we can't come in if we're 16 ! Then we decided to go to another pool and when I was crossing the street we came by a truck of firefighters , they were on fire ;) , I waved and they waved back ^_^ hehe. Then we got to the other pool that had no age limit yaaaay ! It was the most fun I have had in a while . And those Lifeguards were sexy ! whoooop . Lol we took 1 hour tan and I thought I would come out fried from tanning , nope. I just got darker ! I went into the 10 ft deep side and decided to try and touch the pool floor , bad idea. LoL , Then , we caught two boys using goggles to look at us under water -___________- can you believe what horny idiots ? But I had a great day and we went to the pizzeria after , ate everything there Lol and now I'm home playing spit.

Thanks to Gibran ..

thank Gibran for giving me the crazy idea to blog , hehe.