Disorganized.

I'm disorganized. I cannot seem to put my thoughts together in order , instead they unhurriedly become organized...too late. Aren't I too young to be in love ? or love ? I begin to believe my mother and all she had said about not falling in love so young.. Why believe anything anyone says anymore , are all promises meant to be broken ? Then why promise at all , or make one promise ? I think we're all meant to be alone because what we call "Love" is A word simply disguised as something ensorcelled, so we can all break. We all come to that point in our lives where we fall in love and we don't think about the consequences that would come out of this... but why me so young ? But it's my fault for letting it get like this..Letting love do this to one person then hurting another all because you don't think you should be there with them, through it all. Then it hit's you and you realize you should have been there through whatever else disaster they've been through. But then it's too late. Like I said we're all meant to be alone , so why even try to be with someone ? Why do we try to escape being hurt , but think it's ohkay to hurt someone else ? I'm so disorganized. I wish I can leave it all and start something new..AGAIN. I always do , pero they say it's not ohkay to runaaway from your problems .. But it's what I do.. Sometimes I place the blade on my wrist thinking it'd take the pain away. It comes back though.. The pain comes back anyway and now I find myself crying on the phone with him . What's wrong with me ? Why am I feeling like this.? I feel like dying ... I just think I need a new life somewhere else .. Cause I think that if I can learn from my mistakes here and use what I learned somewhere else I can get along in life. If he only knew.